Many people have been horrified, appalled and shocked by recent events in the USA and have wished to underline their support for the Black Lives Matter movement by positioning themselves as an ally. It is not necessary to have a full understanding of the lived experience and what it is means in day to day terms for someone from a disadvantaged group. But it does mean that you are willing to take on the fight for equality for that group as your own.
Being an ally is difficult and sometimes challenging. Many would-be allies fear making mistakes that could result in them being labelled in a particular way (racist, sexist, transphobic, homophobic, etc) so they struggle to take any action at all. Be brave – take a risk and you will gradually become more confident.
As an ally, you need to take responsibility for your mistakes and be proactive in your own education. It is important to reflect upon your own unconscious and implicit bias and understand the ways in which we are all shaped by a society that is inherently geared towards favouring some groups over others. You need to be able to reflect upon your own experiences and attitudes and develop a high level of self-awareness.
Just as society will not change overnight, neither will you. Here are some important do’s and don’ts to consider as you learn, grow, and step into the role of an ally.
You may have noticed that it’s easier to deal with being corrected about something you didn’t know if you’re open to the opportunity to learn rather than being embarrassed to have been wrong. If you say “Thanks for letting me know”, you will have taken the opportunity to learn with grace and gratitude. If after you say that, you need to take some time to think about the situation, that’s fine, too.
(Based on work by Presley Pizzo)
Imagine your privilege is a heavy pair of boots that keeps you from feeling when you’re stepping on someone’s feet or they’re stepping on yours, while disadvantaged people are only wearing sandals. If someone says, “Ouch! You’re stepping on my toes,” how do you react?
In reality, most of us naturally know the right way to react when we step on someone’s toes, and we can use that to help us learn how to react when we commit micro-aggressions.